I have not had the time t post something for a really long time... but i had to write something so that I would feel better... I had an accident yesterday while i was drving back from a job interview... it was very scary it was not my fault a stuipd pic up truck dude saw me coming but never waited to let me go.... i had the right of way and he thought he coould take a turn and go but i was to fast to stop and so i ram right into him headlog... and the BASTERD ran away after the accident!!!!!

I cried, called 911, tried to fig out if i was hurt, i was glad to be alive, i was not hurt,... so many people saw the accident, no one stopped, i as just misrible .... i parked my car on a service road, waited for 911 who finally came.... it felt like an eternity for them to come.... my car i have no idea if it will be ok....

I am just glad to be alive!

I HATE BIG FAT GUYS WITH PICKUP TRUCKS!

Its been very hard to find time to write this semester, as its my last in concord. I am So excited to graduate but at the same time very scsred of whats going to happen after december as I have no clue where i am going or what I am doing.

This semester has been quite exciting in many ways, it started of with one of my good friends coming down and from South Carolina to go whitewater rafting. Yes I went whitewater rafting in WV on the new river. It was a lot of fun. We were on 3 - 5 class rappids. Lot of fun... but very very scary... I got thrown out of the raft once and my guide caught me. I did hurt my knee a bit with the adventure and was limping the rest of the two weeks... BUT it was worth it. I am so proud of myself to have done something adventerous! Will i do it again... maybe not... but I am glad i have done it once in my life....

The other interesting things - I am preparing for my senior exhihibition in full swing... I will have my juries end of October and will figure out if i can pull off a solo show which has never been dont in concord before. I hope i can. I am excited about it.

Every weekend a bunch of my friends get together and we have formed this club where we cook diferent cusins and watch different movies. Its been such a lot of fun :)

I am nervous about my graduate school application and finding a job.

On wednesday we are having Mendhi/Henna tatoo fundraiser for the Art society so i am really excited about that. I hope it goes off well.

ok there was something else that was exciting which i wanted to write by i have completely blancked out and have been staring at my mac like an idiot (girns) trying to fig out what it was... so when it dawns to me i shall write it... until then good bye!

Oh yes... I cut my hair almost half of what I had... if anyone knows me who is reading this update they would remember I had really really long hair.... well its gone... and frankly I love my short hair :) makes my head feel a lot lighter :).... no this was not what i was going to write I still dont remmeber the exciting news... i will write it later.... when i do remmeber...

See ya!

(Yep this update is really long... but worth reading...!)


After the most horrifying B'day last weekend my cousin - Avni and her best friend Suresh decided to cheer me up by inviting me to spend a weekend in Mumbai to celebrate it again. I wanted to go out partying, dancing and basically have a good night life in Mumbai.

And it was the most amazing 2 days ever. I had the best time of my life :) On saturday evening I met up with Avni after a day of shopping cloth with my mom for my show in december. I was so tired, and Avni had a bad day as her boss as usual had troubled Avni a lot the whole day... and so the three of us meet up after at 9 for dinner, at Swati which is completely packed with people that we famished hungry souls cannot wait so decide to walk a block to Kamat which is about to close... perfect timing! And its just 10 in the nite... we order a ton of food... Suresh has a huge appetite... and surprisingly Avni does too... we literally are kicked out of the restaurant at 10.30 reluctantly we move on to go to Chawpati beach for a stroll, coz its to late to go clubbing and neither of us have any energy left.

So we walk for an hour or so on the beach and talk, Suresh has this unique sense of humor, that I am constantly laughing and cannot stop. Finally my cheeks and head starts hurting laughing so hard. We get tired of walking so decide to go to Coffee Cafe De across the street and order lot of coffee and lounge around until 1 am, talking of all random things which dont necessarily make sense. We talking about how bad Karan Johars movies are :P and why I feel John Abraham is hot.. and why according to Suresh I need to get examined as he completely hates John Abraham... which is natural coz he is straight ;) (Suresh do not kick me j/k). And to top it all, Suresh says I remind him of some actress out of a Karan Johar movie, big eyes, and big earrings which apparently both he and Avni had brought for me as a B'day present which were really bigger then a bracelet))... We had the most random discussions, on the definition of classics, how art and science got along, why I was studying art and political science, that I looked like a hippie... (coz of Suresh's big earrings)... What string physics was, (which apparently I have still not figured out)... and that Suresh is studying black holes and string theory and at some point of time long long long way in the future.... the black hole thats in the center of the universe is going to gobble us all... so I have plenty of time to make the most of my life :P.... and all other odd conversations. The three of us part away at 1 am barely able to walk, and high on coffee and laughter.


I stay with Avni and both of us are chatting till almost sunrise and then we decide to sleep a little so that we have some energy for anther night of partying :)

Avni and I wake up at 10 and try to have breakfast, our search goes on for the tea which is hiding somewhere in Avnis kitchen, and warming up a few other snaks to eat before we go for shopping. Both of us are famished as usual when we leave for shopping so we go get some lunch first. And then walk down Colaba and start shopping, I have a ton of things I need to buy for my friends in US, and I wanted to buy a skirt and a really cool belt.. and some other odds and ends :) After bargaining heavily and walking for almost 4 hours we finish most of the shopping and reach Barista another coffee shop to take a break before we move on, and the fun begins, I realise I forgot my specks in the restaurant we had lunch which was and the other end of Collaba where we had started walking... so back we are after a coffee... walking down again to get my specks. I am so relieved when I find out they are still live and kicking :) Then we go to Fashion street, we are supposed to meet Suresh at 7 sharp ;) which is an overstatement considering we are girls :P... and we are busy shopping for skirts and earings and other goodies until 7 :P and obviously we dont expect Suresh to reach Pizza exp. by 7 so we go home change and are above to leave when Suresh calls... apparently he thought I would be a good influence on Avni and we would actually be on time... which we are not... finally we reach pizza exp at 8 have dinner till 9.30... he has this smug look on his face... which says something is cooking so Avni and I needle him to tell us what he has been up to...after a lot of cajoling he says... his guide/prof/boss wants him to come to work in the night... which completely ruins our partying plans... both of us are really disappointed but we continue eating and then dinner is almost over when we have to decide what to do. Anvi and I cajole him and convince him that the partying idea was something we had decided to do years ago. So he decides to come with us for a while partying... the smug look has still not left his face so he says... i have something else to tell u :P most of the Disco's are meant for couples entries and we are a odd lot... 2 girls and a guy :) so we are like OH... and he is like well lets go check it out and see what happens. So we decide to take a cab to one of the night clubs. And our adventure begins....after a lot of asking cab drivers to take us to our destination and a lot of them saying no.. finally there is a guy who says yes... so we jump in... he starts driving. And while driving starts talking of random things... and then says for 3 hrs i have been waiting for a ride and now i get one which is for 13 bucks... so i am going to go a bit round and take u. We are like ok... and then we realise he has taken us to a completely opposite direction.. and we are like we understand you want the money but we never told u to take us here... and he is like no u did... and we are like ok drop us here... we get odd and thats when it strikes me and Suresh that the driver was completely drunk.... what a nightmare! we could have got killed... it was so scary... so then we get into another cab. This dude.. has a white Gandhi cap and big mustache and the 3 of us are so hysterical and laughing with what happened previously that we are very high with excitement and talking so much... after it dies down a bit the taxi driver... looks at Suresh, and asks him in pure (shudha) hindi..."Till which grade have you learnt hindi"? Suresh looks at him and says 10th. And we all are wondering, is he also drunk? Or is those types which give lecture to young people and ask us to remember our culture and tradition and that we should be ashamed of our selves that we speak english when we can speak hindi... but then he moves on to saying ok I am going to tell you a poem, give me the meaning of it... by now both me and Avni have covered our mouths, Suresh who is sitting next to the driver has to answer him... and both of us are looking outside the windows trying not to laugh to hard... its so funny looking at Suresh trying to tackle the meaning of the poem. Suresh desp. needs help and looks back at us but all he can see is two giggling girls... :) We finally reach our destination and both of is jump out of the cab and leave Suresh to answer the driver... and burst out laughing coz we cannot take it anymore... its just to much for us to bare... and Suresh walks up to us after a few min. looking completely dazed... and is like... what were you thinking... i needed help and all u girls could do is giggle away! But Suresh, then says he got an explanation from the cab driver, apparently the driver was testing us to see how cultured we were... and as Suresh used his logic to deduct the meanings of the poem we passed his test. It seems this driver tests youngsters and he himself is well read and learnt a lot of hindi poems. He had a book by Kabir with him under his seat.

Anwyas... we are so freaked out with both the incidences that we keep laughing all the way to Redlight Pub whch was supposed to be our destination. And ask luck would have it, it was booked for a private party so we could not get in. The only choice we had was to go to Insomnia Taj, so we walk there not daring to take another taxi...and are relived when the butler does not stop us as we are not couples... so we walk in merrily and go into the disco... its loud and interesting.. coz as soon as we enter there is this random guy who is the only one dancing in the middle of the floor and the rest are so creped out that not one is dancing... we get a drink and wait thinking more people will join in and that we will join in when others do... but it gets more creepier and the guy seems to be desperate and definitely drunk! The music is horrible and we dont like it so then Avni comes up with a brainwave of going to a third place which is close by so we leave, and walk to the third place and realise that its closed on sunday and mondays!!!!! Our luck was going drastically wrong and suresh thought it was the big earrings i was wearing that had to do with the bad luck ;))

So we reluctantly go back to Insomia... (Insomania as we called it from then on) and decided we would have a good time no matter what! But the creepy thing was when we got back there were a lot more people dancing but it was so guy and lesbo... all guys with guys and all girls with girls... AHHH! so aggravating... and we were the only 3 people who seemed to be odd in the whole lot. But then we decided come what may we would have fun... so we did :)At 12 in the night I was supposed to meet two long lost cousins of mine so they finally arrived and so Suresh, me and Avni parted away and Avni and I went off with my other set of cousins to a pastry shop near by and had a delicious Baileys Chocolate mouse cakes.... yummy!!!! i had an ok time with these cousins as they seemed more interested in talking to their girl friends then meeting me... so i was a bit irritated.... coz the were supposed to have come to meet me... and they bumped into these two girls in the cake shop.

But apart from that slight hitch we all had a wonderful time... Avni, Suresh and me... lots of fun and adventurous experience which we will always remember :) So i finally had the party that I was looking for... just wish it was on my bday! Oh well.... better luck next time :) Oh what a weekend it was!

I had an interesting week, I am preparing for my senior show in December and my theme is Ajanta and Ellora caves in India. They are architectural ruins made in almost the 1st and 2nd Centaury BC. Anways, I decided to go visit them and as per my profs. wishes and try to paint them on the spot.

I thought it was going to be fun and easy, but i was so very wrong. I leant a few important lessons this week, first one its very very hard to paint outdoors. Especially in a historical monument. I was so disturbed with constant attention, of people and visitors who kept poking their head in my sketch book it made me feel so uncomfortable and nervous. I was an amusement (for them) as much as they were an amusement to me. Inspite of trying to avoid and ignore them i could not help being disturbed. Some really curious ladies also poked me and asked me so many questions. I was so fed up. The weather was horrible, lots of rain so everything was wet, mucky, and full of mosquitoes. My foot is full of bites and its kind of swollen. I realized i could not force myself to paint. What ever i did if i was not in the mood i could not paint it. I tried so hard but it did not work out... finally i succumbed to taking lots of photos and am back to paint them all at home. I might have given up really early, or I did the right thing i have no idea, but yes i did learn quit a bit from this experience. I guess i dont have much time to do everything i want to in the visit back home... and also it was very hard to stay with my mom for the last one week, she was getting extremely agitated as she did not have anything to do. And my mother is a very active i must say over active person. Without work she might as well kill herself. She stayed with me for a week and did complain a bit, but tried to be very patient but could not hold on.... so with all that around me i just could not paint. But at least i tried! I know what to expect next time i decide to do something like this... I need to pack loads of patience along with all my bag and baggage when I go to paint outside next time!

We had an interesting discussion on child abuse today in my sociology class, when my prof. was telling us the that every state in the US had different laws on child abuse.

As a child growing up in India was quite different from i can imagine growing up in US. According to US policies, if a teacher hits a student then its child abuse. I think that should be a law passed in India. Most of the Indian school teachers hit their students with rulers, or slap them, besides reprimanding them and scolding them in front of all the peers. This has had a very negative impact on a kid. I personally felt abused when i was in school. The teachers used to humiliate me in front of all my classmates, they used to tell me I was good for nothing, I did not like that. I was very angry with them. Also many teachers used to be biased against some students, and if you were not part of that group to bad. Its had such a negative impact on my life that it haunts me even after leaving school 10 yrs. back.

We talk about abuse when its at the worst possible level, we talk about it only when a child is sexually assaulted, physically harmed, but we never talk about mental and verbal abuse. I hate the educational system in India, and its left me with such bitter memories that I dont want to be a part of it anymore, and one of the reasons is being abused by the system.


What do u think?

For the past couple of days I have been thinking about my last 3 yrs. at concord, What have i dont in the past 3 yrs.? All i remember is that I have been a very good student, worked very hard to keep up my grades, never got a C in any class, mostly got straight A or B's in all my classes. I have never gotten drunk.

Did i have a social life besides studies? Well not really. I think my social life was restricted to community service.

I am almost graduating in 6 months hopefully i will be out of concord. I look at the 3 yrs., and feel did i waste them.

Was i so busy with my studies, my future, my career that I missed out on life? Is it worth it being a good student without having a social life? Should I have gone partying on weekends and not worked my butt off, did i miss out on something?


I did have fun, bit here and there, with friends, but seriously I dont remember any single moment that I truly had a good time, maybe I did, but its all a blur. I was so busy trying to finish all my classes, trying to graduate and get out of concord ASAP, coz i hate being in the countryside. I want to go to a bigger city.

I am standing at a crossroad today trying to look back at my life and see what should i have done to enjoy it more.

I guess i immersed myself into so much work and studies, so i would not feel homesick, I did not want to party coz i guess i was scared of people, scared that I would make a mistake and that would ruin my life, my career, I guess being a girl I had more responsibility towards myself to take care of whom I hung out with. I guess in short I was very cautious! I am tired of being this good, cautious responsible person. Perhaps because of this I have missed out being a young adult. Have I grown up to fast? I dont know.

Finally i have brought a mac! I am so happy. Truly feel like an artist and a graphic designer. I was waiting for this day ever since i started designing. I think all of us graphic designers are in love with the mac :)

Since the last few days I have been trying to transfer my files form the PC to the mac and its been a nightmare. I knew that Windows and Mac are rivals but i did not realise how they both hate each other. Nothing is compatable, i had to even reformat my external harddrive to make it work on the mac. It went to that extent that when i connected my cable internet to my Windows then i had to reset it several times to make it work on my mac. I still dont know how to transfer my emails to the mac... hopefully i might fig it out.

But beisdes the downs, I love the mac, its so much faster than the PC. Also Its so much sleak and compact. Nothing pops out of the mac except the cd :) Also i will not break my back anymore carrying the laptop everywhere!

Hopefuly my days with my mac will be amazing :)

I had a intersting day today... i have taken ceramics and in that course we are asked to make pots and clay artifacts.. for the first time today i sat on the wheel and tried to make a vase... i knew it was a hard process but did not know it was so hard.... its pretty physical where u put a lot of pressure to make it.

My hards hurt now by the end of the class...

Oh and the mess u creat is just unbelivelable... but it was quite fun and very interesting..

I was kind of scared to work on it but i guess hopefullly i will get over it and risk it :) Come on i have nothing to lose i am an artist but never made pots in my life before.

I did not get the hang of which way my hands are supposed to go, out professor kept explaining them but i was not quite sure what he kept saying....

But i felt like a child playing in the mud making cool neat things, accept the only difference is there is no mom to tell u not to mess around in the mud :)

We meet so many interesting people everyday in our lives, some of them remain close to our hearts, and become our dear and cherished friends, some of them we can part away easily. But there comes a moment in life, where you feel like you are at an airport or at a train station and you are the passenger in that train where you have to bid goodbyes to so many people everyday.

This is not the first time i have said goodbye to a dear friend, my best friend has transferred from Concord to a better University, and i will not see her again.... i hope i can meet her again during the course of my journey.

It sort of feels helpless to know that you might never meet some people who are dear to you every again.

In the last 3 years i have said goodbyes to my family, my friends in India and all over the world so many times but why does it hurt everytime I have to say goodbye once again? I hate this feeling...

I guess after a long time i have had a really nice happy week, its been tiring but in a good way :)

I went for a hike on tuesday which was so nice and beautiful in Pipestem National Park with a professor, and a friend of mine and another staff person from Univ. It brought back endless memories i have had of hikes with my best friends and cousins in India. I love hiking and did not realise how much i missed it.

I then, went up to Charleston (drove) not for the first time but 2nd on the turnpike and it was a bit scary but cool! I feel a lot more confident driving in the US now. Its still very intimidating when there are those huge trucks next and besides u. As expected we got lots in Charleston during peak traffic :P and i was driving .... it was an adventure... i will never forget it.

My best friend is interning in Charleston and i had dinner with her in the mall and then went back to her dorm, at the Univ. of Charleston... i am so jealous of all who study there, its such a beautiful campus, though its a small univ, the campus is along the river... its so nice... we walked and chatted till we dropped dead, on the banks which was so much fun...

I have been catching up on a lot of movies lately i need to get back to reading some books soon.

anyways more later...

On Friday morning my prof. called me saying he had a new job for me, i had to help one of the Faculty members with a church directory, and design it for her. As her mother was sick and she needed help. I agreed to do that and went to her place on Friday evening. I had a really nice time talking to her and her husband. Really nice people. Her husband was a prof too and said he used to teach a lot of Indian students, who had made him proud. He loved collecting art and I was given a tour of their home with and shown all the art.

On Sunday i stared working on the project and yesterday, and sent her a few emails related to that, and guess what she wrote back! He husband died on Saturday night.

I was shocked, i re-read the email so many times thinking i did not read it right. I was so moved i could not think of anything i could do or say. I was speechless. I kept staring at the screen. Why did that happen. I had met her husband the day before. I suddenly felt angry and depressed at the same time.

Why does life have to be so crazy! Why does life have show its idiosyncrasies? And why dont we value what we have? You never know what will happen to you or me ... we take it for granted, and thats when we regret it the most.

I moved to my new appartment over the last weekend, and finally i am online and have interent. It feels amazing I have more space and a lot more room to move around.

I suddenly feel grown up in the last 2 days. I guess one of the main reasons is because i have moved off-campus. I am not sheltered anymore. I feel apprehensive at the same time very excited to move away from school a bit. I took all the decisions on where to live. And besides as I am graduating in next 6 months I guess i need more space.

My new appartment is a whole lot better than the old one i was in. It has two room a living room and bedroom.

I did not realise i could recieve more than 300 channels on tv. I am so amazed its insane... i guess this summer all i am going to do is watch tv and chill.

more later!

Its almost the end of this semester, just a week left and looking back at it I feel wow how in the world did i get thru it all.

It was a very very hard semester, my classes almost killed me. I started off the semester loving of of my Advance Advertising and Design class, but now i completely hate it. We were working so hard in groups as a real ad agency that I had absolutely no time to work on any other class.

This semester i startes preparing for my senior show, I am hopefully going to graduate in December and that was also killing me. I was supposed to paint 20 paintings but have landed up painting just 10. Though i love them and they have turned out to be really nice.

I faught with so many people this semester as everyone wanted me to help them in some why or the other. But I could not do so physically as I had my limitations and so they were really angry and upset. But i did learn how to say no.

Its been a chalange emotionally, mentally and physicially and I am really glad in a away its all over.

But I am really sad as I made some amazing friends in the Art department and so many of them are graduating and or not going to be around as much in the fall semester. The art depatment is going to be a strange and sad palce to come to next fall as I will not know so many of the people there. Its been like a home to me this whole semester. I have spent countless hours there working on projects and paintings its not even funny. Even the Janitor of the building knows me so well now!

The other highlights, was me getting a car, a cell phone, and am moving off campus in my own appratment for a semester which should be interesting but at the same time challenging coz i will not be able to walk to the department as i used to.

But i am looking forward to summer, as i will be taking a few classes and am going home for a month so hopefully that will help me releave some stress!

I feel like i am a puppet, and been pulled by everyone in different directions. I hate it. I have so much to do, everyone wants me to help them... BUT i cannot do it. I am a human being... i have limited quantity of energy i really cannot please everyone.

I wish people understood my situation, that being a senior is not a joke and that i genuinely am not taking people for granted. I just cannot do everything, my classes are so demanding that i am having nervous breakdowns every week. WHY?????

So many people are angry, irritated and frustrated with me as i have not been able to give them my time or do what was required of me. If i had the potential to clone myself i would have done that!

I just wish someone would hold me and tell me everything would be ok.

How did u like this movie? I thought it was very interesting and relevant today. I did not know it was a comic book and adapted from that. I am planning to read the comic book now.

But this movie definitely made me think about so many questions:
- Is violence solution to many of the problems today?
- Would facieses change this world and make it better?
- Role of governments in our life, do the make it better or worst?
- Can democracy not change and make the world better?
- Do citizens need to get more hold of their governments than the government taking control of its people?



Many people say this movie is an advertisement for terrorism, but i personally dont think so. It is a very good movie and makes you think of so many things going on in this world and in out governments.

Worth watching!!! Amazing movie

Please note: I am do not like violence neither do i like Facists regimes. So please dont misunderstand me.